adjusting

I recently moved to a new country, leaving most of my loved ones behind. Adjusting to a new way of life, in a new town, never mind country, can be exceptionally difficult and draining. Put mental illness with that and we’ve got a tornado of emotions.

Other than my immediate family ; aka my household, I know nobody. This leaves me feeling lonely and isolated, which is not a feeling I think anyone enjoys. It leaves me alone with only my thoughts which more often than not can be destructive and distracting to everyday life and overall happiness. The major task in this is learning how to cope with these feelings of despair and sadness.

Bipolar Disorder for me is more like having this toxic voice in my head telling me to do things and think things that I really don’t want to. In every incident of self-harm I can honestly say that it wasn’t Hanah thinking those things, but rather that nasty voice in my head telling me how worthless I was. The challenging thing with recovery is figuring out how to override those thoughts and mute out that voice before it takes control and sends me right back to square one.

My latest strategy is exercise. I am not an active person, I find that when I’m in a deep pit of depression I isolate myself and hardly move my body. Recently I have started working out every morning. A casual walk to the end of the neighborhood and back with the dog and then a circuit at home that I literally just do in my room. I put together a five week work out plan and I am eager to get it done. Not only is this good for my body, but I find that it does wonders on the mind. Putting all that negative energy into something constructive is beyond fulfilling. I think with any form of mental illness, you have to find something that brings you out of that darkness and back into that light. The light can gradually get brighter, each day at a time. As long as there is some light and not just pitch black staring at you with no outcome of change.

I would love to hear about your techniques on clearing your mind.

2 thoughts on “adjusting

  1. Hey Hanah,

    The best lesson I have learnt on my journey has been fake it till you make it. Or act as if. As if everything is just fine. I don’t mean lie to yourself or indulge in devastating denial, I mean get up do your day as if you are OK. And the devil is in the details. All the little things. Make your bed, go on that walk, do that exercise. Take care of the little things and the big things take care of themselves. I promise. Much love…

    Like

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