the whirlpool of anxiety

There’s this whirlpool turning in my stomach. I can’t seem to shake it. It’s not a feeling I think I could ever get used to. The cell of this prison is sealed shut and there is no chance of escape in sight. 

I feel helpless and confused. I can’t find the cause or the cure. Why can’t I turn it off? My mind is filled with the static of a tv without its clicker. 

I am alone in this unkept forest of emotions and I can’t find the path to salvation. 

Where am I going? 

What am I doing? 

Why do I feel this way? 

These feelings are unwanted and unwarranted. Is there a piece of this puzzle that I’m simply missing. I feel like a child reaching for the cookie jar that is only just beyond my reach. I can feel it with my fingertips, the answers are calling but I just can’t get there. 

It’s not failure to fetch the step ladder to satisfy your sweet tooth, just as asking for help is not a sign of defeat. 

The defeat only begins when you blame the jar for being on the counter rather than appreciating that it’s there in the first place. 

Feeling overwhelmed is natural. Not understanding your anxiety is normal. The trick is actually trying to find the solution to removing the whirlpool. Whether its sitting alone in your room for a few minutes and gathering your thoughts, or picking up your journal and spilling it all out on a page. For me, its putting in my earphones and filling my mind with lyrics while feeling the wool slip through my fingers as I knit a scarf going somewhere. 

The road to recovery is long and has more obstacles than we bargained for. The end doesn’t need to be in sight, as long as you are following the signs leading forward rather than taking the one reading ‘short cut’. There are no short cuts. It’s a journey and you need to make the most of it. Take a second to smell the flowers along the way or simply watch the sunset. Observe the lines of the bark on the tree reaching to the clouds and taking a moment to appreciate what is around you. The world is a beautiful place if you look close enough. Take the path to becoming a better you.

How do you deal with your anxiety

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