Humpty Dumpty

There’s a part of me missing…. all of a sudden… it wasn’t unexpected, I removed it myself. But  without it, I feel empty, broken and confused. It was something I had to do in order to find myself and realize who I am without it. But, with that it mind, it isn’t making it any easier. Every time I hear a song I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. And it hurts. It bought me never ending happiness and I ripped it away. But no decision is ever made without second thought.

Sometimes you have to do something so painful in order to gain some sort of perspective. It hurts so badly. I don’t know what to do with the pain. I feel like I will never be complete again…

Sometimes we have to remove certain parts of our lives in order to grow and become the person we want to be. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, because it isn’t. It can be the most difficult thing you’ve ever experienced, and the saddest you’ve ever felt. It will feel as if the Earth has been swept up from under you and that you’re stuck floating in the middle of nowhere. Standing in no mans land trying to dodge the bullets flying your way. 

I have to pick myself up, sweep up the pieces of my broken heart and put it all back together again. I don’t know how long it’s going to take. 

The decisions we make, no matter how shattered they may make us feel, are decisions that we have to stick with and deal with. 

I have come to see that my support system is strong, not that that makes it any less heart breaking. No one can put back the pieces of our life, only we can do that. 

A new journey has begun. One that I need to follow alone. A path surrounded by trees trying to blow me down as the gusts of wind force them to. But I am strong. I am brave. I am starting over. 

I feel broken, but that’s temporary. All the kings horses, and all the kings men cannot put be back together again. I have no doubt however, that I can do it myself. 

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